I spent a good portion of my academic career mulling over the roles man insists on playing with the world. It was first codified sophomore year by Mrs. DeGroat as Transcendentalism... Thoreau and the gang. I was excited by the notion that there was a binding energy within all things. That everything was "connected."
I think it was a fruitful concept for a lonely and ambitious adolescent. I spent the next few years dancing around the implications of Transcendentalism, soon to become Pantheism.
My peers and most elders now call me a man.
I no longer question my will to express, much like I am doing here.
I have accepted the blank stares and stiff silence of those that do not understand.
Because I have been loved by both sexes for my thoughts and actions. I have a circle that has shown me that it expects me to continue to keep going.
That is how I know that what was once a comfort, is still a comfort, but for a different reason that does not diminish its validity.
What do I mean?
Kaitlin and I are closing in on our fourth week in Kershaw County. We left the brutal summer behind last week in finishing the sapling extractions and pine straw laying.
Last weekend we had a get together to celebrate changes. Kristen will leave for the University of Frankfurt at the end of September, Kaitlin and I will leave for Colorado September 2nd, and I turned twenty-three.
Friends and family that have known and loved us from all points in our life were present. I will one day think of a new cliche for the, "this is not good bye, merely 'until next time'" but it is a fitting sentiment. I am happy that we have handled this transition in this way. Heart open, arms wide, with smiles.
I remarked to Kaitlin the other night that these moments are the reward for living boldly. A year ago we hinted timidly at our wildest dreams for our lives after graduation. So far, we're on track. A week from now, we'll set out on the next phase of that vision. Each day is another vote of confidence. Each evening by the fire, reflecting on our decision, we are bolstered. As dearly as we love our friends and family, the sky is dark here - we are isolated and happy.
Between the two of us and roasting sassafras we are both bare under the night and full of our loved ones. I hope that is enough to get us through anything. I hope that is the minimum we require. We do love everything else, but if that is all we get - we'll be okay.
Less than a week from now, we'll hit the road for Colorado - where aspen and fly fishing await.
From Castro to Karly -
7 years ago